


To Feel Alive

by gblvr



Category: Harry Potter - Fandom
Genre: Community: merrywizards, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-30
Updated: 2010-01-30
Packaged: 2017-10-06 20:36:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/57515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gblvr/pseuds/gblvr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry, Snape and the Order have returned from a mission, and Harry has decided to live.</p>
            </blockquote>





	To Feel Alive

Before Snape could turn to spell the door against him, Harry slipped in and pressed his lips to Snape's in a hard open-mouthed kiss. Surprised to feel him responding, Harry relaxed and zoned in on the sensations; the heat of Snape's mouth, the sensuous slide of tongue along his own, the press of their chests, the feel of Snape's hard thighs flexed to balance them. Harry heard Snape's wand fall to the floor and after that, the only sound in the room was their breathing, and underlying that, the distant sounds of the other members of the Order moving about the house.

As soon as he realized what he'd just done - who he'd just kissed - Harry pulled away. "Professor - I, oh god...I'm sorry." Taking a step back, he tried to pull the door open and leave, but Snape simply grasped his arms and held him still. Harry looked back into the black eyes above him, and he was lost - nothing short of a hex would have induced him to move, even if Snape did let go. And if the tingling in his fingers and hands was any indication, Snape had a pretty good grip on him, and wasn't going to let go anytime soon....

Speaking as he moved, Snape walked forward, pushing until Harry was against the door. "Mr. Potter -- you will explain what just happened." Snape spoke lowly, in that tone of voice that no Hogwarts student dared defy.

Before he even knew that he was going to, Harry said, "I just needed to feel alive -- to know that I'm not dead, that you're not dead, that we're still here, and that he didn't. That he didn't -- he didn't win." He was flustered, and could feel himself beginning to babble. What could he say now that would fix this? Shit -- he needed to stop talking. Shutting up would be good. Snape probably thought that he was using him, seeing sex with him as a convenient way to chase away the stress of the past few months.

Gentle hands turned him, pressing him into the door. When he continued to look at the floor instead of up into Snape's eyes, Snape heaved an exasperated sigh, and stepped back. Harry heard the tap of Snape's heels as he paced away from the door to the bed and back. Snape stopped in front of him -- Harry could see his dusty shoes and the ragged edge of his trousers -- and then fingers grasped his chin, and forced Harry to look up. Harry squeezed his eyes shut against what he saw in Snape's eyes.

"Harry?"

Upon hearing his name, instead of the usual 'Mr. Potter', Harry's eyes flew open. What he saw reflected in the eyes looking down at him was -- well what was it? It was a look that he'd never seen on Snape's face -- sort of a cross between fear and happiness.

Swallowing hard, he closed his eyes again, and said "Yeah?"

Following words with action, Snape said, "I am going to kiss you now, and then we are going to talk about this."

Light as a feather, Snape brushed his lips across Harry's open mouth. When he didn't move, Snape ran his tongue along the fullness of Harry's bottom lip before sucking it between his teeth. As a groan escaped the open mouth under his, Snape chuckled.

"Oh, Harry...what am I going to do with you?"

A hopeful smile lit up his face as Harry countered with, "Anything you want?"

"Harry - I'm serious."

"So am I."

Pulling Snape's head to down to his level, he pressed a kiss to his forehead. Moving on to his right eye, Harry said, "I've never been more serious about anything." After dropping a kiss there, he slid over to the left eye, murmuring "I nearly lost you, and I'm not going to let you go now, I'm not going to let him win," before skimming over Snape's cheek and recapturing his mouth in a deep kiss.

They could talk later; right now he needed to connect -- to feel alive.

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for the Merrywizards May Day Challenge. Not quite what was requested (Snape/Harry, just about anything goes, with a snarky Snape) -- but my first attempt wound up in limbo; I had a hard enough time with that one, so this is a bit short. And Snape is a bit too nice, IMO. ::shrugs:: (written June 16, 2004)


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